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Spring Valley Vista started as a dream of Ron Haggleflayer. He dreamt of putting 5,466 homes on 2,371 acres, just because we really think open space is a terrible thing to see undeveloped with homes that all look alike even if we're charging half a million for them. If all goes well, we'll be developing adjoining land with WalMarts, strip malls and a Costco. Rob Haggleflayer hopes to develop this property primarily so that he won't have to see any more dirt in the area. "If we can also scare off any wildlife like rabbits or foxes or deer or antelope, that'll just be a bonus," Haggleflayer said in a recent interview. Current lot sizes in the are of the county are a massive 5 acres. "No one can possible want that much space," a county commissioner said, who would like to remain anonymous. "This will increase our tax base, too. Never mind that we'll also have to build schools, improve our roads, build fire stations, increase police protection, and deal with snow removal for over 5,000 more homes when we can't quite cope with those issues now." "Does it snow out there? Never been there, actually." Haggleflayer said. Haggleflayer is also the President of Stumbling Brook Investments. Rob HaggleflayerBorn in the wilds of Madagascar to Unitarian Missionaries, Rob spent his formative years hunting wild boar and dreaming of moving to Colorado to pave vast expanses of untainted land. After saving up his earnings from selling muskrat pelts on the black market, he managed to make it as far as the other side of the island. There he spent his time selling artificial Asian mail-order brides to wealthy Australian sheep ranchers. He invested his money wisely and managed to make it to America where he met his future wife, Leona. Rob and Leona have had three semi-intelligent children over the years. Most people describe them as "a disappointment." "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, ya know?" one friend said.
Rob's son, Guido, married his life-partner Gavin Gavis in Massachusetts in early 2005. While Guido has no interest in land development beyond the interior decorating aspects, Gavin loves paving land as much as Rob does. |
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